Race relations=Solved!

Apparently there is a storm brewing in our fair United States. Supposedly it's been going on for quite a long time. Actually, since the Civil War era, and you know, I thought it was getting better. I thought this resentment between whites and blacks was going away. Well, how naive I was!

Being Mexican, we often are left out of this white versus black thing. That's not fair in my opinion, but that isn't the topic of this post. By the end, you will understand how if people will follow my plan, we can knock this problem out with one 90 minute punch!

The reason I bring this all up is because of what's going on out there. Not in cyber-space, but in real space, or in other words, reality. Unless you've been knee-deep in some World of Warcraft action you know about the protests going on in Louisiana about the Jena 6. These are a group of black kids that beat up a white kid, and as a result, are being charged with attempted murder. What makes this case so astonishing is the fact that Meagan Williams, a black woman who was basically tortured by 6 white people, who is in the hospital still, has not been getting the same coverage, and in fact, charges are not even being pressed in that case. That is so ridiculous. This just highlights the prejudice's that exist in our world. It is easy to understand why resentment still exists.

In history, there have been attempts to make amends, probably government inspired in my opinion. One example of this, was the equal rights efforts of Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder in the great classic, "Ebony & Ivory". I thought that for sure this would go a long way towards healing the wounds. Apparently, I was wrong.

I believe drastic measures must be taken. I'm tired of hearing class-mates, and well, the United States for that matter, go on and on about whites this and blacks that, and how we all don't like each other. I think what we all need to do is Remember the Titans. If they can do it, so can we as a nation. If I had the time, I would drive to Jena myself with my big ole' blow-up movie screen and projector and fire it up, and let this classic story heal the wounds. Better yet, I believe the government should step in. If you're listening government, and since I just wrote the word terrorism in my post I know you are, then please do the right thing. You dropped the ball with Katrina, please don't do the same here!

A sample of what all women should know!

Ladies, there is something that I have to let you in on about men. I know some of you out there might not believe this, but trust me when I tell you that for the most part what I am about to tell you is true. Now, what you do with this knowledge is entirely up to you, and if I were you, I'd use it for fun, but hey, that's me. So, onto the secrets I have to impart.

I love women in skirts. I love my wife in skirts. Do you love skirts yourself? Chances are, you do. So, please keep this in mind next time you are out in public in your favorite mini or professional dress. If you are sitting and there is a man (men) across from you or at an angle or passing by or remotely near you (you get the point), he (they) will almost without a doubt take a glance to see if he can catch a glance of the hot zone. Now, that may seem a little perverted, but that is just the way it is. I didn't make the rules, I just observe them. Now, please don't feel too special and think you're hot stuff though. I mean, hey, maybe you are, and that's awesome, but in reality, it wouldn't matter if the woman was 300 pounds, she still would get glances if she had to change positions. If some of you have men, go ahead and ask them, and if they say yes, then hey, you've got an honest guy, if they say no, then....it's time for a talk. Most men, will just do a quick glance, and go on. If you notice a lingerer then I would suggest possibly sounding the stalker alarm.

Also, I think it is worth mentioning that pretty much, men will try and see whatever they can possibly get away with. For instance, some ladies out there have a nice bust. We aren't blind. Even other women notice the size of girls and particularly their dress as well. If you've got a button shirt that is kind of tight that shows skin through the buttons, trust me when I tell you that this will not escape the notice of guys eyes. I think we are just wired that way. I mean, I think some guys are just like that. Some of us are like Indiana Jones treasure seekers, and our treasure is skin! So, on with the hunt!

I hope that this information doesn't scare you, but actually, if it turns you on, then that's really cool. I think guys in general wouldn't mind women being more sexual. Call me progressive in that notion if you want. So ladies, next time you're out and about, keep conscious of what I have just told you, and see what happens. And guys, remember, the 5-second rule does not only apply to food, but to glances as well! I hope this information helps to open the door to more understanding between the sexes. Good times for all.

Lattes and Lollipops

So, we've been "down south" for a few weeks now, and it has been a mixed bag of feelings for me. I mean, Texas is really great and all, but it really can be a different world out here. We just got back from Jamaica, and man, do I have some stories to tell, but as you can see from the picture, there is something more pressing that I must talk about.

If you take a real good look, you can see that inside the drive-through to this new Bank of America is a Starbucks drive-thru all in the same line. When I saw that I knew I had to take a picture. This is so crazy to me! Only in Texas can you get a latte and make a deposit all at the same time. This is one of those things that just makes me love the state I'm in. We obviously take our money and our coffee very seriously!

Will YouTube rock the vote?

On Monday, CNN televised the first ever debate where the questions were sent in by YouTubers out there, and given to the Democratic Party presidential candidates. Boy, were they all out in full force. The questions ranged from serious to down right deleterious. I really can't say what I thought about it because I did not watch it. Why didn't I watch it? First off, It's July '07! When is the vote? November '08! Mmmm, that is a little far off for me to be thinking about that. Really, though, that is not the point that I want to make. I'm going to speak to the candidates out there, and give them a little secret. Now listen carefully ok? I'm even going to start a whole new paragraph to make it nice and easy to read.

You can make all the videos you want, and spread your message to the millions of technophiles out there, but guess what? I really don't think it will help come vote day. Why? Cause we really don't vote. Why is that you might ask? Which would really help you guys I know, but the answer is this. No matter how cool your videos are, that is not going to get us off our butts and out the door to vote. We're not lazy for the most part, we just don't like inconvenience. Why do we like YouTube and other sites like that? We do because I can sit on my butt and click away. Did I mention, this can all be clothing optional? Miminal effort is what we seek. If we could text or vote on-line American Idol style, then I am sure the numbers would go through the roof. Don't feel bad about this. You guys are collecting record amounts of campaign money, so spend away. That's why I'm not a hardcore recycler. I don't want to have to seperate stuff. I just like to throw it away and be done! Oh well, I guess I'm safe until the Al Gore Gestapo shows at my door.

So, I say create all the videos you want, but it's going to take more than that to get these World of Warcraft, Sneezing Panda, I-Pod listening bums off the net and out to vote. Don't worry though. I'm going to vote cause Chris Farley told me to!

Top 10 places my wife would hide me if I happened to go missing!

I'm not really sure if this is plea, but here is my top 10 places to find me if I went missing. Marriage is pretty tough. I didn't know till now because I have never been married before. My ideas of pleasure-filled romps covered in cheetos have yet to become reality. I don't know about the rest of the couples out there, but man, it can get pretty rough. A friend told me that Chris Rock once said, "You'll know if you two really love each other, if you've both wanted to kill each other". So, in a light-hearted spirit, that is unless I do end up missing, I now present my top 10 places to look for me if I ever end up missing:

1. The freezer- What better way to express your bitterness than with a frost-bitten corpse.

2. A big box- Yeah, any regular old box would be suspect to me.

3. A vase- For creativity's sake, this would take a lot of planning to pull off. Bring on the heat!

4. The nearest McDonalds dumpster- That would teach me to ask to have fast food picked up on the way from work.

5. Half-buried in the yard- I would double check the addition of a garden gnome. That would probably be my shriveled head.

6. The trunk- I'm pretty sure body amount was one of the selling points for our car.

7. Pizza Hut/KFC combo store- I really don't have a reason why I would think this would be a place that I would end up, except that it just seems right.

8. Best Buy parking lot- This almost would have a touch of sentiment, mixed with the bittersweet, since I liked it so much in life, how about death to?

9. Under the bed- This would be a desperate move. The one thing I've learned from the movies is that if you suprise someone and they are trying very hard to get you out the door, either there is a lover in hiding, or a corpse.

10. In the dryer- That thud is not shoes drying, but probably my head banging against the metal.

Well, there you have it. I really don't think I will be found any of those places. If you ask me, I'll probably leave this planet in bed from a heart attack, after I soiled myself.

Have a great weekend, and don't forget to cherish the one you love!

Will I ever stop talking about girls?

Well, I have been pretty lazy with this blog. I'm actually not that funny anymore, and that is a shame. The problem is that I don't have a lot of time cause, hello, I'm a cancer researcher, but serving is what I do best. Just ask my wife. So, what I wanted to do was just talk a little bit about things that interest me, but I have found that I like too many things and am often side-tracked. Apparently that is my personality. I'm a lefty. Most of us are like that. Anways, I coud so easily make this a ranting blog, because life has left me bitter! Oh well. I think I should put more video on here, but that will have to wait. I've also learned that I cannot watch Comedy Central or TBS and write at the same time. There are too many shows worth watching, such as Seinfeld and Reno 911. I would love to talk about relationships, and what I have learned from the various ones I have been in, and about what women want, and how guys need to just make them feel safe. That is probably the biggest thing that women want. A real guy who is genuinely interested in her, and not just her smokin' hot body. My friend the other day asked me who was prettier, Jessica Alba or someone slutty with bigger boobs, I don't know, we'll say Lindsay Lohan. Please keep in mind this was a woman who asked this. I explained to her, it depends. For long-term, Jessica Alba would seem like that sweet girl that you could love for the rest of your life, while Lindsay would just be someone you'd have your way with for a night. However, a lesson to be learned is that even a mediocore girl with big boobs is always going to find someone. That's just how life works. I didn't make the rules, I've just spent time getting to know them. Actually, while I am on the subject of Lindsay Lohan, if she happens to read my blog, then I hope she hears this from a smart guy who has a perceptive perspective. Most guys think you are too skinny. We also thought that you were crazy hot in Mean Girls. You look good. You weren't fat by any means, but you definitely had a fuller-figure. A good man is turned on by the gentle touch of your skin. If you want to make your man happy and feel good, just let him feel you, feel your skin close. It's very sensual for us.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to get all steamy. I guess that is all for now. Maybe, I would be better if I just looked at the news of today, and just comment on that. I mean, I don't mind telling people my opinion, but actually, I like to have fun and relax, and be funny too. It's is a tough climb, but I know I can overcome. Besides, if my blog or my PhD doesn't work out so well, at least I know how to use a weed-eater!

Need a researcher? Look for the badge.

Well, it has been a while since I have written. Things are busy around here with me, and in the DC metro area. I really don't want this blog to be a ranting blog, but it does seem that there are a lot of things out there worth trying to fix.

Ok so, I work at the NIH, so we have to wear badges. This is for the supposed security of our campus. What I don't understand is why I see people off-campus, like at the mall, wearing their badges around their neck? I mean, come on, who are you trying to impress? Oh well, I guess if people are in need of a researcher for some emergency at the mall, they will know where to look.