Top 10 places my wife would hide me if I happened to go missing!

I'm not really sure if this is plea, but here is my top 10 places to find me if I went missing. Marriage is pretty tough. I didn't know till now because I have never been married before. My ideas of pleasure-filled romps covered in cheetos have yet to become reality. I don't know about the rest of the couples out there, but man, it can get pretty rough. A friend told me that Chris Rock once said, "You'll know if you two really love each other, if you've both wanted to kill each other". So, in a light-hearted spirit, that is unless I do end up missing, I now present my top 10 places to look for me if I ever end up missing:

1. The freezer- What better way to express your bitterness than with a frost-bitten corpse.

2. A big box- Yeah, any regular old box would be suspect to me.

3. A vase- For creativity's sake, this would take a lot of planning to pull off. Bring on the heat!

4. The nearest McDonalds dumpster- That would teach me to ask to have fast food picked up on the way from work.

5. Half-buried in the yard- I would double check the addition of a garden gnome. That would probably be my shriveled head.

6. The trunk- I'm pretty sure body amount was one of the selling points for our car.

7. Pizza Hut/KFC combo store- I really don't have a reason why I would think this would be a place that I would end up, except that it just seems right.

8. Best Buy parking lot- This almost would have a touch of sentiment, mixed with the bittersweet, since I liked it so much in life, how about death to?

9. Under the bed- This would be a desperate move. The one thing I've learned from the movies is that if you suprise someone and they are trying very hard to get you out the door, either there is a lover in hiding, or a corpse.

10. In the dryer- That thud is not shoes drying, but probably my head banging against the metal.

Well, there you have it. I really don't think I will be found any of those places. If you ask me, I'll probably leave this planet in bed from a heart attack, after I soiled myself.

Have a great weekend, and don't forget to cherish the one you love!