Will YouTube rock the vote?

On Monday, CNN televised the first ever debate where the questions were sent in by YouTubers out there, and given to the Democratic Party presidential candidates. Boy, were they all out in full force. The questions ranged from serious to down right deleterious. I really can't say what I thought about it because I did not watch it. Why didn't I watch it? First off, It's July '07! When is the vote? November '08! Mmmm, that is a little far off for me to be thinking about that. Really, though, that is not the point that I want to make. I'm going to speak to the candidates out there, and give them a little secret. Now listen carefully ok? I'm even going to start a whole new paragraph to make it nice and easy to read.

You can make all the videos you want, and spread your message to the millions of technophiles out there, but guess what? I really don't think it will help come vote day. Why? Cause we really don't vote. Why is that you might ask? Which would really help you guys I know, but the answer is this. No matter how cool your videos are, that is not going to get us off our butts and out the door to vote. We're not lazy for the most part, we just don't like inconvenience. Why do we like YouTube and other sites like that? We do because I can sit on my butt and click away. Did I mention, this can all be clothing optional? Miminal effort is what we seek. If we could text or vote on-line American Idol style, then I am sure the numbers would go through the roof. Don't feel bad about this. You guys are collecting record amounts of campaign money, so spend away. That's why I'm not a hardcore recycler. I don't want to have to seperate stuff. I just like to throw it away and be done! Oh well, I guess I'm safe until the Al Gore Gestapo shows at my door.

So, I say create all the videos you want, but it's going to take more than that to get these World of Warcraft, Sneezing Panda, I-Pod listening bums off the net and out to vote. Don't worry though. I'm going to vote cause Chris Farley told me to!

Top 10 places my wife would hide me if I happened to go missing!

I'm not really sure if this is plea, but here is my top 10 places to find me if I went missing. Marriage is pretty tough. I didn't know till now because I have never been married before. My ideas of pleasure-filled romps covered in cheetos have yet to become reality. I don't know about the rest of the couples out there, but man, it can get pretty rough. A friend told me that Chris Rock once said, "You'll know if you two really love each other, if you've both wanted to kill each other". So, in a light-hearted spirit, that is unless I do end up missing, I now present my top 10 places to look for me if I ever end up missing:

1. The freezer- What better way to express your bitterness than with a frost-bitten corpse.

2. A big box- Yeah, any regular old box would be suspect to me.

3. A vase- For creativity's sake, this would take a lot of planning to pull off. Bring on the heat!

4. The nearest McDonalds dumpster- That would teach me to ask to have fast food picked up on the way from work.

5. Half-buried in the yard- I would double check the addition of a garden gnome. That would probably be my shriveled head.

6. The trunk- I'm pretty sure body amount was one of the selling points for our car.

7. Pizza Hut/KFC combo store- I really don't have a reason why I would think this would be a place that I would end up, except that it just seems right.

8. Best Buy parking lot- This almost would have a touch of sentiment, mixed with the bittersweet, since I liked it so much in life, how about death to?

9. Under the bed- This would be a desperate move. The one thing I've learned from the movies is that if you suprise someone and they are trying very hard to get you out the door, either there is a lover in hiding, or a corpse.

10. In the dryer- That thud is not shoes drying, but probably my head banging against the metal.

Well, there you have it. I really don't think I will be found any of those places. If you ask me, I'll probably leave this planet in bed from a heart attack, after I soiled myself.

Have a great weekend, and don't forget to cherish the one you love!

Will I ever stop talking about girls?

Well, I have been pretty lazy with this blog. I'm actually not that funny anymore, and that is a shame. The problem is that I don't have a lot of time cause, hello, I'm a cancer researcher, but serving is what I do best. Just ask my wife. So, what I wanted to do was just talk a little bit about things that interest me, but I have found that I like too many things and am often side-tracked. Apparently that is my personality. I'm a lefty. Most of us are like that. Anways, I coud so easily make this a ranting blog, because life has left me bitter! Oh well. I think I should put more video on here, but that will have to wait. I've also learned that I cannot watch Comedy Central or TBS and write at the same time. There are too many shows worth watching, such as Seinfeld and Reno 911. I would love to talk about relationships, and what I have learned from the various ones I have been in, and about what women want, and how guys need to just make them feel safe. That is probably the biggest thing that women want. A real guy who is genuinely interested in her, and not just her smokin' hot body. My friend the other day asked me who was prettier, Jessica Alba or someone slutty with bigger boobs, I don't know, we'll say Lindsay Lohan. Please keep in mind this was a woman who asked this. I explained to her, it depends. For long-term, Jessica Alba would seem like that sweet girl that you could love for the rest of your life, while Lindsay would just be someone you'd have your way with for a night. However, a lesson to be learned is that even a mediocore girl with big boobs is always going to find someone. That's just how life works. I didn't make the rules, I've just spent time getting to know them. Actually, while I am on the subject of Lindsay Lohan, if she happens to read my blog, then I hope she hears this from a smart guy who has a perceptive perspective. Most guys think you are too skinny. We also thought that you were crazy hot in Mean Girls. You look good. You weren't fat by any means, but you definitely had a fuller-figure. A good man is turned on by the gentle touch of your skin. If you want to make your man happy and feel good, just let him feel you, feel your skin close. It's very sensual for us.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to get all steamy. I guess that is all for now. Maybe, I would be better if I just looked at the news of today, and just comment on that. I mean, I don't mind telling people my opinion, but actually, I like to have fun and relax, and be funny too. It's is a tough climb, but I know I can overcome. Besides, if my blog or my PhD doesn't work out so well, at least I know how to use a weed-eater!

Need a researcher? Look for the badge.

Well, it has been a while since I have written. Things are busy around here with me, and in the DC metro area. I really don't want this blog to be a ranting blog, but it does seem that there are a lot of things out there worth trying to fix.

Ok so, I work at the NIH, so we have to wear badges. This is for the supposed security of our campus. What I don't understand is why I see people off-campus, like at the mall, wearing their badges around their neck? I mean, come on, who are you trying to impress? Oh well, I guess if people are in need of a researcher for some emergency at the mall, they will know where to look.